While reading it, I felt surprisingly calm. It wasn’t the kind of writing that tries to motivate or persuade. Instead, it felt like you were standing next to me as a storyteller, slowly walking me through your process and laying out states of being that even you might not have fully put into words yet.
What moved me most was how you began from the role of being “the younger sister.” It didn’t read as just a family story, but as a form of forced early maturity — learning to read the room, stand in the middle, and not take sides. Seen through that lens, it became clear how the pattern of holding on and not leaving later on, in your work and your choices, was deeply connected to becoming the one who had to stabilise everything early in life.
When you wrote that the body knows the answer before the mind, it really resonated with me. So often, it’s not that we don’t know something no longer fits — it’s that we’re used to overriding those signals with responsibility, endurance, and concern over how we’re perceived. That’s why the moment you described staying as panic and leaving as relief felt so honest and rare. It’s not the kind of success narrative people usually want to hear, and that’s exactly what made it feel real.
I also deeply appreciated your honesty in admitting that what you were truly afraid of losing wasn’t the job itself, but the image of being someone who “sticks it out.” That line gave the piece real depth, because so often what traps us is an idea of who we think we’re supposed to be.
Your writing leaves space for the reader, while still making one thing very clear: people change. And when we keep asking our present selves to live by past versions of ourselves, something eventually breaks.
After reading, I didn’t feel the need to make any immediate decisions, but I did start asking myself more honest questions. And I think that’s exactly where this piece is at its strongest.
Thank you so much for reading my work with such care and presence. This is such a generous comment and the way you reflected on my writing means a lot to me. I really agree with you at the part where you said how we override the signals as I often call myself the master of self-deception. I’m very happy that my piece landed the way it did and the things you said about my writing means a lot to me.
This felt so empowering somehow, the way you described and explained everything in such simple words made the whole picture seem so captivating, how small details shaped the mindset. I loved reading this, thank you for sharing it with us💌💗✨
This is such a thoughtful and heartfelt comment. I truly felt your warmth as I read it, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the way you recognised my work.
In my writing, I try to point toward those quiet moments we tend to overlook, the subtle distances that appear between us, the things we think have faded or been discharged, yet still continue to shape our lives. I’m so grateful that you caught that.
"When something is existentially misaligned, the body responds with numbness, self-doubt, and a sudden questioning of your entire life." I've been feeing this for years and it's what got me back in school to pursue a Masters in ASL and psychology. Barely halfway past my associates so far. I had chosen nursing when I was a 23yo brand new mom and had no clue what it even meant to think of myself rather than picking the first thing I could think of and got stuck being an LVN. It's not easy to restart, but we all have that option and should definitely go for it!
Thank you so much for sharing this. What you named, about choosing before you ever had the space to choose yourself, is something so many people carry quietly. Becoming a mother so young and making the most responsible choice you could at the time makes so much sense. There is no failure in that. Restarting is not easy, especially when it means unlearning survival decisions that once kept you afloat. The fact that you listened to that long-standing misalignment and allowed it to guide you back into learning says a lot about your courage and honesty with yourself. I’m really glad my words met you in that place. Wishing you steadiness and gentleness as you continue, halfway through and onward. Your path is unfolding exactly as it needs to. 🤍
Ah, imi, this resonated deeply. The tension between “sticking it out” and asking who we are actually being loyal to hit a little too close to home. That early practice of holding space without learning to hold our own ends up shaping so much of how we move through the world later.
The line about the body as the site of truth landed hard for me. That recognition and that listening is an act of congruence and not weakness, felt unmistakably true.
I also really appreciated your naming of all-or-nothing thinking as a form of perfectionism that keeps us lingering where we no longer belong. Me too, girl, me too.
It’s not easy to look within. There’s a lot of honesty and courage here. Thank you for writing it. 💚
You are such a thoughtful reader, and it truly means a lot to feel seen in this way. The care with which you noticed each layer, and named the tensions I was trying to hold, feels deeply affirming.
I’m especially grateful that the part about the body landed for you. That recognition sits at the heart of the piece, even if it appears later. It carries the quiet strength of the whole journey.
And your reflection on all-or-nothing thinking resonated with me deeply. Naming it as perfectionism has been a turning point in my own life, one that has helped me loosen my grip on places I no longer belong.
Thank you for reading with such presence and generosity. I’m genuinely grateful my words found you, and for the way you met them. 💚
We talk about quitting jobs as if it’s an emotional outburst, like someone flipped a table and stormed off. But most people don’t leave because they’re dramatic. They leave because they’ve done the math. Slowly. Painfully. Over years.
What I find fascinating is how work convinces us that endurance is a moral virtue. Stay longer. Sacrifice more. Normalize the exhaustion. And if your body or mind starts sending warning signals, we call that weakness instead of information. It’s strange. We trust data everywhere except when it comes from ourselves.
There’s also this quiet lie we’re taught early on. That stability and safety are the same thing. They’re not. Stability just means nothing is changing. Safety means you’re not being slowly erased. And sometimes the scariest realization is understanding that you’ve been stable in a place that no longer protects who you are becoming.
Leaving a job isn’t always about chasing something better. Sometimes it’s about refusing to keep paying rent to a version of your life that has already expired. That’s not impulsive. That’s clarity.
The courage isn’t in the exit. It’s in noticing the moment staying stops making sense and trusting yourself enough to act on it.
Thank you for reading it this way. I really appreciate how you picked up on the difference between endurance and information. That distinction matters to me a lot, especially how easily we moralise staying while dismissing what the body and mind are signalling.
Your point about stability versus safety stayed with me too. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t leaving, but admitting that what once made sense quietly stopped doing so. I’m glad the piece resonated with you.
This really moved me. The way you write about your sisters — wanting to be a sister before you even knew how to be a child — gave so much context to everything that follows. That early learning of mediation, loyalty, and holding space without having space of your own… it makes the later struggle around work, endurance, and “sticking it out” feel heartbreakingly coherent.
The resignation moment didn’t read as quitting to me at all. It read as the first time the adult self stopped reenacting a childhood role. Listening to the body instead of the system. Choosing congruence over performance.
There’s so much clarity here — about identity not being fixed, about permission to change, about how our bodies carry truth long before we’re allowed to hear it. Thank you for writing this with such honesty. It stayed with me.
Thank you so much Nat, for reading my piece with so much heart and presence. Your reflection truly touched me. This felt more like a continuation of my piece and I couldn’t be more grateful to you for deepening the discussion. I’m thrilled to see the way it landed. The experiences I shared here are the origins of my story. My sisters had a lot of influence on me growing up, they’re the origins of everything. The good of course but the bad at the same time but in the end its all about the learnings. It was really interesting for me to grow up while observing two powerful figures. They taught me what I want to be and what I don’t want to be yet, one doesn’t really get to choose the way things shape you I guess. That’s where reflection shifts things for me because it allows me to be aware. And I think awareness is the head of the vessel that carries everything else within.
I’m so grateful for the way you read and engaged with my piece. I’m so happy to see it unfolding with such coherence and clarity. I really value your presence and insights. Thank you so much for being here.
Sisters are complicated and what is challenging is that the dynamics set up when we were young are so hard to challenge. We can change but those in our family don’t always see who we are, they are too blinded by who we were to them
I agree. Thank you for engaging so thoughtfully Nat. The fact that you related with it made me feel seen. You made me feel seen. Thank you for being here..
I’m really grateful for the way my piece landed. It means a lot to see it resonated. It’s nice to have you here. I’d love to subscribe each other and stay connected to deepen our exchanges 🫶🏻
I can really see the similarities in our experiences from what you shared. Being the youngest really shapes us in quiet, lasting ways. I also had a significant age gap with my sisters, and for a long time I carried the feeling that I was an accident.
Thank you for sharing your truth so openly and for engaging with such care. Your kind words mean a great deal to me.
Thank you so much for reading it with such presence. If my writing left you with thoughts that lingered after reading then my work has done it’s purpose. Thank you for your thoughtful engagement. ♥️
While reading it, I felt surprisingly calm. It wasn’t the kind of writing that tries to motivate or persuade. Instead, it felt like you were standing next to me as a storyteller, slowly walking me through your process and laying out states of being that even you might not have fully put into words yet.
What moved me most was how you began from the role of being “the younger sister.” It didn’t read as just a family story, but as a form of forced early maturity — learning to read the room, stand in the middle, and not take sides. Seen through that lens, it became clear how the pattern of holding on and not leaving later on, in your work and your choices, was deeply connected to becoming the one who had to stabilise everything early in life.
When you wrote that the body knows the answer before the mind, it really resonated with me. So often, it’s not that we don’t know something no longer fits — it’s that we’re used to overriding those signals with responsibility, endurance, and concern over how we’re perceived. That’s why the moment you described staying as panic and leaving as relief felt so honest and rare. It’s not the kind of success narrative people usually want to hear, and that’s exactly what made it feel real.
I also deeply appreciated your honesty in admitting that what you were truly afraid of losing wasn’t the job itself, but the image of being someone who “sticks it out.” That line gave the piece real depth, because so often what traps us is an idea of who we think we’re supposed to be.
Your writing leaves space for the reader, while still making one thing very clear: people change. And when we keep asking our present selves to live by past versions of ourselves, something eventually breaks.
After reading, I didn’t feel the need to make any immediate decisions, but I did start asking myself more honest questions. And I think that’s exactly where this piece is at its strongest.
Your reflections are really meaningful.
Thank you so much for reading my work with such care and presence. This is such a generous comment and the way you reflected on my writing means a lot to me. I really agree with you at the part where you said how we override the signals as I often call myself the master of self-deception. I’m very happy that my piece landed the way it did and the things you said about my writing means a lot to me.
Thank you for being here Alix.
That was a brilliant piece, full of heart, full of emotion, and I'm glad that you were able to recognise your own truth and follow it.
Really superbly written.
Thank you so much Gary! Your presence here is greatly appreciated. It means a lot coming from you. I’m very glad it landed.
That was a brilliant piece, full of heart, full of emotion, and I'm glad that you were able to recognise your own truth and follow it.
Really superbly written.
Thank you so much Gary! Your presence here is greatly appreciated. It means a lot coming from you. I’m very glad it landed.
I feel it all. My older sister by 3 years…and “the mistake”:sister I raised and cared for who was 15 years younger…
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I’m truly grateful for the resonance.
I'm so proud of you :)
You followed your truth. You know you have a truth.
This was beautiful.
This is so thoughtful of you. You made me feel blessed and I’m very glad it landed that powerfully. Thank you so much for being here.
This felt so empowering somehow, the way you described and explained everything in such simple words made the whole picture seem so captivating, how small details shaped the mindset. I loved reading this, thank you for sharing it with us💌💗✨
This is such a thoughtful and heartfelt comment. I truly felt your warmth as I read it, and I couldn’t be more grateful for the way you recognised my work.
In my writing, I try to point toward those quiet moments we tend to overlook, the subtle distances that appear between us, the things we think have faded or been discharged, yet still continue to shape our lives. I’m so grateful that you caught that.
I feel genuinely lucky to have you as a reader.
It was so well-written in a way that captivates the reader. I’m honoured by such words, thank you for your beautifull presence💗💌✨
I feel the exact same 💗
"When something is existentially misaligned, the body responds with numbness, self-doubt, and a sudden questioning of your entire life." I've been feeing this for years and it's what got me back in school to pursue a Masters in ASL and psychology. Barely halfway past my associates so far. I had chosen nursing when I was a 23yo brand new mom and had no clue what it even meant to think of myself rather than picking the first thing I could think of and got stuck being an LVN. It's not easy to restart, but we all have that option and should definitely go for it!
Thank you so much for sharing this. What you named, about choosing before you ever had the space to choose yourself, is something so many people carry quietly. Becoming a mother so young and making the most responsible choice you could at the time makes so much sense. There is no failure in that. Restarting is not easy, especially when it means unlearning survival decisions that once kept you afloat. The fact that you listened to that long-standing misalignment and allowed it to guide you back into learning says a lot about your courage and honesty with yourself. I’m really glad my words met you in that place. Wishing you steadiness and gentleness as you continue, halfway through and onward. Your path is unfolding exactly as it needs to. 🤍
Really well articulated journey here and important reminders for many ✨
Thank you so much for meeting it with such presence 🫶🏻
Ah, imi, this resonated deeply. The tension between “sticking it out” and asking who we are actually being loyal to hit a little too close to home. That early practice of holding space without learning to hold our own ends up shaping so much of how we move through the world later.
The line about the body as the site of truth landed hard for me. That recognition and that listening is an act of congruence and not weakness, felt unmistakably true.
I also really appreciated your naming of all-or-nothing thinking as a form of perfectionism that keeps us lingering where we no longer belong. Me too, girl, me too.
It’s not easy to look within. There’s a lot of honesty and courage here. Thank you for writing it. 💚
You are such a thoughtful reader, and it truly means a lot to feel seen in this way. The care with which you noticed each layer, and named the tensions I was trying to hold, feels deeply affirming.
I’m especially grateful that the part about the body landed for you. That recognition sits at the heart of the piece, even if it appears later. It carries the quiet strength of the whole journey.
And your reflection on all-or-nothing thinking resonated with me deeply. Naming it as perfectionism has been a turning point in my own life, one that has helped me loosen my grip on places I no longer belong.
Thank you for reading with such presence and generosity. I’m genuinely grateful my words found you, and for the way you met them. 💚
imi! You have been following your heart since the beginning. ❤️❤️
This means a lot for you to recognise and reflect it back to me. Thank you so much for being here Hannah! 🫶🏻
We talk about quitting jobs as if it’s an emotional outburst, like someone flipped a table and stormed off. But most people don’t leave because they’re dramatic. They leave because they’ve done the math. Slowly. Painfully. Over years.
What I find fascinating is how work convinces us that endurance is a moral virtue. Stay longer. Sacrifice more. Normalize the exhaustion. And if your body or mind starts sending warning signals, we call that weakness instead of information. It’s strange. We trust data everywhere except when it comes from ourselves.
There’s also this quiet lie we’re taught early on. That stability and safety are the same thing. They’re not. Stability just means nothing is changing. Safety means you’re not being slowly erased. And sometimes the scariest realization is understanding that you’ve been stable in a place that no longer protects who you are becoming.
Leaving a job isn’t always about chasing something better. Sometimes it’s about refusing to keep paying rent to a version of your life that has already expired. That’s not impulsive. That’s clarity.
The courage isn’t in the exit. It’s in noticing the moment staying stops making sense and trusting yourself enough to act on it.
Thank you for reading it this way. I really appreciate how you picked up on the difference between endurance and information. That distinction matters to me a lot, especially how easily we moralise staying while dismissing what the body and mind are signalling.
Your point about stability versus safety stayed with me too. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t leaving, but admitting that what once made sense quietly stopped doing so. I’m glad the piece resonated with you.
Beautifully written, imi. And good for you for having the courage to follow your heart.
Thank you so much Lynn. Your presence here is greatly appreciated.
This really moved me. The way you write about your sisters — wanting to be a sister before you even knew how to be a child — gave so much context to everything that follows. That early learning of mediation, loyalty, and holding space without having space of your own… it makes the later struggle around work, endurance, and “sticking it out” feel heartbreakingly coherent.
The resignation moment didn’t read as quitting to me at all. It read as the first time the adult self stopped reenacting a childhood role. Listening to the body instead of the system. Choosing congruence over performance.
There’s so much clarity here — about identity not being fixed, about permission to change, about how our bodies carry truth long before we’re allowed to hear it. Thank you for writing this with such honesty. It stayed with me.
Thank you so much Nat, for reading my piece with so much heart and presence. Your reflection truly touched me. This felt more like a continuation of my piece and I couldn’t be more grateful to you for deepening the discussion. I’m thrilled to see the way it landed. The experiences I shared here are the origins of my story. My sisters had a lot of influence on me growing up, they’re the origins of everything. The good of course but the bad at the same time but in the end its all about the learnings. It was really interesting for me to grow up while observing two powerful figures. They taught me what I want to be and what I don’t want to be yet, one doesn’t really get to choose the way things shape you I guess. That’s where reflection shifts things for me because it allows me to be aware. And I think awareness is the head of the vessel that carries everything else within.
I’m so grateful for the way you read and engaged with my piece. I’m so happy to see it unfolding with such coherence and clarity. I really value your presence and insights. Thank you so much for being here.
Sisters are complicated and what is challenging is that the dynamics set up when we were young are so hard to challenge. We can change but those in our family don’t always see who we are, they are too blinded by who we were to them
I agree. Thank you for engaging so thoughtfully Nat. The fact that you related with it made me feel seen. You made me feel seen. Thank you for being here..
I found this post so relatable. I have a sister that is 9 years older than I am. Your points about the sibling gap resonated. Thanks for sharing.
I’m really grateful for the way my piece landed. It means a lot to see it resonated. It’s nice to have you here. I’d love to subscribe each other and stay connected to deepen our exchanges 🫶🏻
I have adopted a saying, “it’s about progress, not perfection.” You’ve pulled back the curtain here and given us a look at your progress.
Congruence. That word stands out to me in this.
That word sits at the heart of the piece Kim and I’m not surprised that you caught it. Thank you for engaging with my work with such presence 🤍
I feel this. I was the youngest of 4 girls, the bonus one or mistake.
The body always knows....... I love how you express your feelings about this. You are a treasure.
I can really see the similarities in our experiences from what you shared. Being the youngest really shapes us in quiet, lasting ways. I also had a significant age gap with my sisters, and for a long time I carried the feeling that I was an accident.
Thank you for sharing your truth so openly and for engaging with such care. Your kind words mean a great deal to me.
Thank you! Reading this brought back many feelings that I had stuffed away.
Continue to follow your heart and strong instinct!!
Thank you so much for reading it with such presence. If my writing left you with thoughts that lingered after reading then my work has done it’s purpose. Thank you for your thoughtful engagement. ♥️